“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” (Song of Solomon 1:2)
In this verse, in the book Song of Solomon, the bride expresses her love for her husband. It’s bold and not coy. It’s expressed in the more intimate kiss of “...kisses of his mouth...” The expression “...thy love is better than wine...” is repeated by the husband later on. “... better is thy love than wine...” (Song of Solomon 4:10) I’m not a wine connoisseur or a sommelier who is an expert in wine, so I don’t understand the love of wine. It was the beverage of choice in the Middle East. It was used in religious rites, cooking and for medicinal purposes. So we can see it had importance and was an essential in life in those days. In that respect, I can see how the expression “better than wine” can apply.
The important point is the love between the bride and her husband. Its expression is not withheld. Solomon’s intention was to describe the love between a husband and wife “spiritually, emotionally and physically” according to S. Michael Houdmann, creator of gotquestions.org. But we can see God’s hand not only in laying out His intentions in the marriage of a man and a woman, but its symbolic interpretation and prophecy of the love between the church and Jesus.
The love between a husband and a wife is further related to the love of Christ and the church in the New Testament. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.” (Mark 10:7-8) In the spiritual, we become one with Christ in spirit. “But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.” (1Corinthians 6:17) And in speaking about the coming of the Holy Spirit, Jesus says, “At that day ye shall know that I am in My Father, and ye in Me, and I in you.” (John 14:20) So we can understand just how important the marriage relationship is to the Lord because it represents the love and oneness of the relationship of the church which is called the Bride of Christ and the Lord.
Paul’s commands to husbands and wives also reflect the relationship between the church and Christ. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” (Ephesians 5:22-29)
There is a great protest and outcry of women to verse 22, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) And there is great elation on the part of the husband in this verse. The reason for this is sin. Sin on the part of the husband, overlording and dominating his wife because he believes it’s her solemn duty as a Christian wife to be his slave in all things. And it’s also sin on the wife’s part for rebelling and doubting that God’s will is perfect.
While courting, nothing is further from the bride’s thoughts. Like the Shulamite in Solomon’s book, she loves her intended and would submit her all to him. He on the other hand loves his intended bride and would give his life for her if necessary. But after the wedding, the unrealistic expectations of married life manifest. His expectations of his every whim being fulfilled by his wife and her expectations of self-sacrificial love from her husband are instantly vanished in the daily grind of life. If both the wife and husband obey the Lord’s commandment, then it would work. But even the children of God disobey. And quickly the husband’s faults and defects in either being domineering, industrious or wimpy exasperate the wife’s expectations and stir up her rebellion and disobedience to submit. And vise versa, the husband’s unrealistic expectations are dashed when the wife expects to be catered to, and is demanding or boring. Granted these commandments are made without exceptions. Whether the wife or the husband is not upholding their end, it’s a commandment. The only exception would be in the case cited by Jesus because then, even though not official, divorce has already occurred. “ And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) And all believers have also made an exception to divorce in a case where the wife’s life is in danger.
Prayerful consideration should be made daily on obedience to God’s commandments for marriages. God instituted it. We should allow God to steer it, heal it and fulfill His will in it. This is a topic of length to which I’ve only addressed a couple of points briefly. In my experience, the courtship should be long. And couple’s counseling before marriage is imperative.
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