“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25).
Our Scripture above doesn’t exactly deal with the subject of marriage in general but compares the love of Christ to that which a husband should have for his wife. There are many references of the church as the bride of Christ. Paul in writing to the Corinthians about false preachers coming in and teaching things contrary to the Gospel writes, “For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.” (2Corinthians 11:2) He wanted them to know that the false teachings would defile their devotion to their Savior, their Beloved. Solomon in the book, Song of Solomon, writes about the righteous love between a husband and wife. He prophetically writes about the church and the love between the church and her beloved Savior. Then there is also the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and His wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.” (Revelation 19:7-8) The church is clothed with the righteousness of the saints.
That righteousness of the saints is the righteousness of Christ. Because we have believed, Jesus has Himself clothed us with His righteousness. “ For He hath made Him to be sin for us, Who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.” (2Corinthians 5:21) We see over and over how it all is a work of God. That is why we are so grateful. It’s all God’s work, God’s love, God’s mercy, God’s plan, God’s doing. It’s all about God. Even the love we have for our Beloved comes from the Father and is a work of God in us. “We love Him, because He first loved us.” (1John 4:19)
Marriage is very sacred to the Lord because it represents the relationship of believers and Christ. Therefore, Paul can say to the Ephesians, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.” The key words are “gave Himself for it.” This is the measuring rod. It’s not giving flowers, candy or jewelry. It’s not even amorous giving. All these are good and appreciated. But giving of himself is different. Some Christian couples think it’s the opposite. That it’s the wife who should give of herself. But nowhere in the Bible, does the Word of God say that the wife should give of herself. She is the helper. Yes, she should love her husband and it makes it easier to be a helper when she loves her husband, but Christian marriages are suffering because they don’t know their role in marriage.
In all the feminist movements that the world has gone through since the 60s, marriage roles have not changed at all. Since the beginning of time, the woman has always taken the role as homemaker. It’s only recently that we see men, usually the younger generation, stay at home while the wife works outside of the home. The thing is that it doesn’t matter who stays home. The wife is the helper however they decide she should help, at home keeping it clean, caring for the children and the family or working outside of the home. It’s not that the husband is helping her so she can work outside the home. The mentality is, that the wife is helping the husband fulfil his destiny by working outside of the home, even if he is keeping the house and caring for the children. They are not mutually helping each other. The wife is the helper however they decide to divide the work.
And the Bible commands the husband to give himself for the wife. Everything he does should be for her good and benefit. And here is the divide. Husbands I’m sure think it’s a mutual thing, each benefiting the other, but it’s not. It looks that way, but in the heart it shouldn’t be. He gives himself, all he does, he does for her benefit because he loves her. She helps him in his endeavors, however she can, because she loves him and because it benefits her. That is the basis of marriage. Each dependent on the other. Many are lost right here in this statement. No one wants to be dependent on another. But that is a Biblical marriage. And that is the church. It’s not semantics. It’s a way of thinking. It’s a core belief of how it should work.
The church is dependent on Jesus. Without Him, there is no church. We believe our Savior. We trust our Savior. We live for our Savior. We stay here on earth continuing the Savior’s work as His feet, hands and mouths as He works to bring souls to the kingdom until the end of time when we will celebrate the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. “And He said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.” (Mark 16:15) There is room for more study and in depth understanding of course, but on the surface, it’s not a mutual give and take. It’s Christ Who gave Himself; all. It’s the church, because of her love for Christ, a helper in the work of Christ. It’s the husband giving himself, all, for his wife. It’s the wife helping him however they decide she can best help him.
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